Demotivational Chat

Actual comments in a chat room after attending a motivational seminar*:

tinxie: Jeez our company spends thousands and thousands of cash on motivational speakers. They don't work. They just don't. People will stay the way that they are no matter what. LOL. They will only change if they want to.

scarygerman: On the plus side you get out of work for however long the seminars goes on, and they're usually catered, so free food.

MrMerry: I'd honest to god rather be working.

*Not a High Achievers seminar

The Self-help Section, by Doug Grady

The Self-help Section, by Doug Grady

According to Marketdata Enterprises, a Tampa-based research firm, Americans spend more than $11 billion each year on self-improvement products and services. The self-help industry is expected to grow 6.2 percent annually over the next three years.

If the self-help section worked it would be getting smaller, not larger. -Self-help Conundrum

I remember attending a seminar in the mid 90s in which the speaker opened with the above point. I had been in the self-help industry for a few short years at the time. As of this writing it has been over 17 years. I can appreciate both the humor and the truth in the statement. My own internal need for growth has often surfaced in various external remedies and fixes which never quite get there. My search for answers has led to more questions. How much is within us and how much do we need to discover? Is it more important to learn or "unlearn"? When do I push and when do I let go? How can I best help others? What is the difference that makes the difference?

Recently I made a trip to my local bookstore to check out some of the titles. Here are a few highlights...

Self-help book titles:

How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You

The Secret Power of Middle Children

Put Your Big Girl Panties On

This is Why You're fat

The Owner's Manual for the Brain (1005 pages)

The Procrastination Workbook

Change or Die

14000 Things to be Happy About

8789 Words if Wisdom

365 Ways to Boost Your Brain Power

287 Secrets of Reinventing Your Life

The 10 Women You'll be Before You're 35

5 Steps to a Quantum Life

The 4 Hour Work Week

The 30 Second Solution

And finally...

The Only Book on Success You'll Ever Need, Volumes 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 (OK, that one I made up)

Can a book really change your life? Or a seminar? Or hiring a coach? What does it take? What is the difference that makes the difference? What do you think? Please post your thoughts in the self-help section. I mean the comment section.

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Rescued, by Doug Grady

Rescued, by Doug Grady

This year my church organized several trips to Wellington, AL to help those whose lives were devastated by the storms that ravaged the southeast this year. I went on two of these trips, most recently Saturday, October 15.

Wellington, AL sits in tornado alley where storms are a common occurrence. April 27, 2011 was many things to many people in Wellington. "Common" is not one of them. Their stories are incredible, riveting, and almost unbelievable.

Jerry King has lived there for most of his life with his children and grandchildren living a stone's throw away. They rarely heeded his call through the years to take shelter at his place during the frequent tornado warnings. On this day they came. Just as the last two arrived, it hit. All 13 of them were protected in Jerry's basement as their homes were completely destroyed. Jerry's was the only home with a basement.

Jerry introduced us to Joey George. He told us his story.

"Hold on baby!" Joey yelled as he and his wife were sucked into the air by the force of the tornado. He kept a firm grip on one of her arms while the rest of her was flapping in the wind. When the storm passed their home, car, and most of their possessions had been blown out of sight. They found themselves on the ground among the scattered debris that remained, wrapped in each other's arms, unharmed.

Jerry told us of another incident not too far away. A large tree had fallen during the storm pushing a mother and her child into the earth below. A punctured lung left her unable to make a sound, while her child was silenced from shock. The glancing eyes of their injured dog told rescuers where to look, saving them both. The family dog died as they were both pulled to safety.

These are three of the amazing stories from April 27, 2011 in Wellington, AL. I felt honored to hear them and compelled to share them. Jerry, Joey and many others are still picking up the pieces and rebuilding their homes, their community, and their lives. May the good Lord continue to bless the community of Wellington.

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Gratitude, by Doug Grady

Gratitude, by Doug Grady

Recently I went on my second trip to Wellington, AL. My church organized the trip to help out those whose lives were devastated by the storms that ravaged the southeast earlier this year. It is unlikely it would have been on my radar without my first ever mission trip. Today I reflected on the ripple effect from Ironmen in Ecuador.

“Gratitude can turn a meal into a feast.” -Melody Beattie

In June of 2010 I went to Ecuador for 8 days with 11 other men from my church. We built 9 homes in the slums of Guayaquil. One of the things that impressed me most about the homeless families that we met was the sheer joy they exuded. Especially the children. They were happy, truly happy- just running around laughing and kicking a half-deflated soccer ball. I had more money in my pocket than most of these families would see in months. How could they be so happy with so little? How could I be so frustrated and stressed with so much? When things are tough for me I may wonder where my next speaking engagement is coming from. On a good day they may wonder where their next meal is coming from.

Boli Alfaro was one of our leaders. He also happens to be the great grandson of Eloy Alfaro, President of Ecuador from 1895 to 1901 and 1906 to 1911. He posed a couple of questions before giving thanks for our evening meal. Why were we born with so many advantages? Why were they born into such severe poverty with so little chance of ever getting out?

Boli Alfaro, Great Grandson of Eloy Alfaro (President of Ecuador 1895-1901, 1906-1911)

“Why them and not me?” -Boli Alfaro

Why them and not me? How did I get so lucky? It certainly was through no power of my own. Everything I am or ever hope to be was given to me. The country I live in, the family I was born into, the education I received, my strengths, talents and potential... these are God-given gifts. Of course I have the power to choose, but this too is a gift. The sheer magnitude of choices I have simply does not exist for the people we served in Ecuador.

We have been given talents and complain about our faults. We make progress, and remain cynical. We have breakthroughs and continue to be bitter. OK, maybe it's just me.

"Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God." -Leo Buscaglia

Another man shared with me his initial reluctance to participate in this mission trip. His reasoning was that with so many problems in our own country, why go to another to serve? I could relate to his logic. Then I looked at my life. I never did much of anything to serve in my own back yard. It took a mission trip in another country for me to become grateful for what I have at home. It took going to Ecuador to get me to Wellington, AL.

Help us give back Thursday, December 1st 

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The Storm, by Doug Grady

The Storm, by Doug Grady

So often we want to be rescued from the storm. We don’t realize it is the storm that rescues us. -Unknown*

These words hit me like a thunder bolt when I heard them. I was in the midst of my own personal storm. It included, among other elements, intense financial pressures, overwhelming feelings of failure, and habits and tendencies which were making things much worse. I felt defeated and completely out of control. I wanted to be rescued.

*I don’t know who first said this. I heard it in a sermon by Bryan Dunagan. He wasn’t sure where it came from and I have been unable to locate the source.

I remember thinking, what if this is true? What if this storm really is here to rescue me?

Lessons repeat themselves until learned.

My storm carried lessons. Lessons I needed to learn. There were times I hated facing this truth. Some I already knew- I just didn't want to admit. Others were revealed. My storm shook me, it rocked me, it humbled me.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. -Proverbs 11:2

That storm has since passed, and as a direct result I have a significantly healthier lifestyle, a stronger sense of purpose, and better relationships with the important people in my life. In its wake it left a positive, lasting impact on every aspect of my life: physical, financial, spiritual, mental, emotional, family, friends...

“After a storm comes a calm.” -Matthew Henry

Maybe there is a perfect, beautiful, extraordinary reason why you are where you are. You may not know it until the storm has passed. Maybe there is a lesson or two. Maybe you will become a better person. Maybe you will develop character. Maybe you will end up affecting someone’s life in a powerful way because of what you are going through right now. Maybe, just maybe, the storm will rescue you.

My storm was nothing compared to the lives devastated by the tornadoes that crossed the Southeast. This weekend I travel with my church to Wellington, AL to help out. For more on this cause, click here.

Please, leave a comment- I really want to hear from you.

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