The Four Levels of Integrity; Level One Integrity: The Carrot and The Stick, by Doug Grady
March 5, 2011 by Doug · 7 Comments
The Four Levels of Integrity, by Doug Grady
Here’s my simple definition of integrity:
Integrity: The act of doing what you said you would do when you said you would do it.
It is a yes or no scenario- you either did or you didn’t. Missing a deadline, skipping a scheduled workout, or eating something I said I wouldn't are all examples of integrity lacking. When it comes to developing a new habit, eliminating a bad habit, or developing a daily discipline, keeping your word isn’t always easy. In striving to live a life of integrity, I have noticed the way in which I do so is not always the same. In evaluating patterns in my life and others, I have distinguished four distinct ways in which integrity occurs. I call these the four levels of integrity.
Level One Integrity- The Carrot and The Stick
“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you.” –Tony Robbins
Level one integrity is externally motivated and primarily driven by the desire to avoid (external) pain and to gain (external) pleasure.
In my second year in as an agent in the insurance business I set 2 records within a 3 month period. One of the disciplines I engaged in was a minimum of 25 prospecting calls each business day for 11 weeks. My carrot: the coveted President’s ring. My stick: I had to work Sundays if I did not reach my weekly sales goals. Consciously setting up a structure which rewards desired behavior and discourages unwanted behavior is a critical success skill.
"What gets rewarded gets repeated" -Brian Tracy
Examples of (external) pain:
- April 15th
- Obeying the speed limit in an area known to have cops
- Depriving yourself of something fun (TV, internet, recreation) until you have fulfilled your daily commitment(s). Brian Tracy calls this “dinner before desert.”
Examples of (external) pleasure:
- Showing up on time or early to impress your boss
- Pushing to qualify for a company trip, President’s club or other incentive
- Buying a new dress if you reach your intended weight
The power of the carrot and the stick is available to us at any time. You can create incentives for yourself for sticking to your daily commitments and reaching milestones. You can impose sanctions for not honoring your word or not reaching a goal.
The major drawbacks of relying too heavily on level one integrity fall generally into two categories:
1. Getting hit with the stick may at times feel better than honoring your commitment.
2. You may decide your carrot is not worth the effort and break your commitment.
Choose your carrot and stick wisely, as well as the structure in which it is enforced. Be careful not to put too much stock in the carrot or the stick. It is your personal integrity, not external forces, which must reign supreme.
Level Two integrity succeeds where Level One fails.
Wrestling with Self-Esteem, by Doug Grady
February 13, 2011 by Doug · 26 Comments
Wrestling with Self-esteem, by Doug Grady
I was a shy, introverted, insecure kid. My parents encouraged academics, music and intellectual pursuits. This included "gifted" classes, choir, band, and piano lessons- all worthwhile, but they did not do much for my geek status. I wanted to be popular, confident, and comfortable in social settings. In eighth grade I joined the wrestling team. One of the most popular kids in school, Keith Hamrick, was a wrestler and a friend. I did my best to learn from his confidence. I excelled in wrestling and this helped tremendously. The success in wrestling combined with my friendship with Keith proved to be the recipe for confidence in my youth.
"Our greatest victories are won not over circumstances or other people but over ourselves." –Doug Grady
I remember one of my defining moments in high school. The football team was brought into the wrestling room to “cross train”. One of the football players, an unpleasant kid, had a particular disliking for me because his girlfriend had a particular liking for me. I was actually a little bit scared of him- he had at least 30 lbs on me, was significantly stronger than me and was one mean son of a gun. But by this time I was a very good wrestler. As fate would have it, I was positioned against him in a “wrestle-off”. I whupped that boy up and down the mat- threw him around like a rag doll. He never bothered me again. It was extremely gratifying and went a long way to fueling an inner strength and a positive self-esteem.
Think of a struggle you faced in your youth.
• What was it?
• How did you learn from it?
• How did you grow?
• Who helped you along the way?
Perhaps you are “wrestling” with something at this very moment. You may be battling an addiction, a failed relationship, a financial crisis or the loss of a loved one. These same four questions can help you to fight the good fight.
• What is it? Clarify exactly what you are facing. What are the emotions you are wrestling with? Are you present to fear? Frustration? Grief? Loss? Be specific and be brutally honest.
• How can you learn from this?
• How can you grow?
• Who can help you through it?
Our greatest victories are won not over circumstances or other people but over ourselves. The battles we face are here to cleanse us, to shape and mold us, to help us grow. They are preparing us for what’s next. Keep fighting the good fight, and never give up.
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All the Green Lights and a Couple of Blue Ones, by Doug Grady
January 30, 2011 by Doug · 3 Comments
All the Green Lights and a Couple of Blue Ones, by Doug Grady
Have you ever had one of those days when you hit all the green lights? When progress seemed effortless? When you were simply unstoppable? Sometimes it helps to slow down.
I live in an area of Atlanta called Buckhead near Peachtree Rd, one of the busiest streets in Atlanta. I was running late for a meeting one morning, heading north on Peachtree. There were exactly 17 traffic lights on the 3 ½ mile stretch between my home and my destination. Never in my 10+ years in Atlanta have I ever had the experience of hitting all the green lights on this road, until this day. It was like the parting of the Red Sea- every light was green! I couldn’t believe my good fortune as I raced toward my destination unencumbered by those pesky red lights. According to my calculations, I might make it to my meeting with a minute to spare! At the height of my excitement, approaching green light #11, I noticed several additional lights of the color blue flashing in my rear view mirror. The nice officer gave me a yellow piece of paper which read “57 in a 35 mile an hour zone.”
This got me thinking. What if the obstacles along the way to our goals were actually there to help us? Is there such thing as getting to your goals too quickly? What if the pain of delay is actually saving you from a far greater pain?
There are 3 "P's" I lacked on the way to my goal:
1. Preparation: Leaving just 7 minutes earlier I would have provided plenty of time to make it to my meeting.
2. Presence: I was not present to my speed nor was I tuned in to the fact that Peachtree Rd tends to have very high number of patrol cars.
3. Patience: My impatience led me to drive well over the legal limit and to a costly a speeding ticket. Not to mention I was much later to my meeting than I would have been if I had simply slowed down.
Lack of one of these "P's" can be a stumbling block on the way to your goals. Lack of all three can be a recipe for disaster, and they all feed into one another. We tend to have an unconscious need to compensate for a lack of preparation with a rushed, often reckless acceleration.
Let my lesson be a reminder for you on the way to your goals:
• Prepare. Anticipate obstacles in advance. Remember Murphy’s Law (anything that can go wrong will).
• Be present. Pay attention to your progress, your environment, and the law.
• Be patient. Success may take longer than you had planned. When you learn the lessons from the obstacles along the way you arrive at your goals at just the right time. Most importantly, you develop the characteristics and qualities necessary to sustain success.
Please, leave a comment- I really want to hear from you!
How to Choose a Trainer, Coach, or Mentor by Doug Grady
January 5, 2011 by Doug · 6 Comments
“You will be the same person you are today in five years from now except for the people you meet and the books you read” -Charlie “Tremendous” Jones
How to Choose a Trainer, Coach, or Mentor
by Doug Grady
Let me tell you about a friend of mine. His name is Day Adeogba. I first met Day one week into a re-commitment to exercise after being fairly sedentary for several months. It was a Saturday morning “boot camp” that a friend had invited me to. The workout was extremely challenging to say the least. Some of the exercises I was physically incapable of, others I struggled through. I made it through the hour (barely) without getting sick or passing out. Since that time I have worked out with Day an average of at least once a week for about 23 weeks as of this writing. I’m absolutely certain I have made progress with him that I would not have made on my own.
Here's why:
1. He has knowledge I do not have.
2. He has a level of health and fitness I do not- this provides both inspiration and an example of what is possible.
3. He leads exercises I don’t do on my own (many of which I never would have thought of).
4. His expectations of me are often higher than I set for myself.
5. He has a scoring system which monitors and encourages progress.
6. His workouts are so challenging that I tend to push myself harder when exercising on my own.
7. No matter how much progress I make, he always throws something in that is extremely challenging or at times beyond my current capabilities.
The above criteria may be helpful for you when choosing a trainer, a mentor, or coach. Our natural tendency quite often is to push ourselves only to a certain point. With good people around us we can exponentially expand our personal and professional growth and create breakthrough results.
Failure, by Doug Grady
November 30, 2010 by Doug · 5 Comments
I learned more from failure than I learned from success
I learned more no thank you, so much more than yes
I learned to be willing to lead with my chin,
And if I were willing to lose I could win
-Barry Manilow
Failure, by Doug Grady
It is hard for me to believe I am citing Barry Manilow but I absolutely love this quote. It reminds me of one of my greatest failures.
Fail Your Way to Success
by Doug Grady
David Forsythe was a beast of a boy. We attended the same school in 8th grade, my first year as a wrestler (I think David began wrestling at age 2 or 3). He was strong and mean and took great pleasure in throwing me all over the mat in practice. 2 years later as a sophomore in a different high school I found myself wrestling against him in the finals of a tournament. To the surprise of most people, including myself, I was winning comfortably in the 3rd and final round. With less than 15 seconds left in the match, David stuck me with a double underhook, flipped me to my back and pinned me. It was devastating.
“The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go.” –Richard Bach
The dictionary defines failure as “The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends.” This loss certainly qualified. Here are some suggestions when you don’t achieve your desired end (I recommend you record your reflections in a journal).
1. Evaluate your natural tendencies. What do you do when you fail? Where do you go mentally and emotionally? What do you make it mean about you, the result, and the world you live in? What do you say to yourself? How does it tend to change the course of your life?
"Lessons repeat themselves until learned."
2. Look for the lesson. Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase “lessons repeat themselves until learned.” Have you found yourself in a similar dilemma in the past? What are the common denominators that contributed to you ending up here? Are there tendencies, habits, or areas of neglect which led you here? Be brutally honest. Take the stance that there is a lesson here and you can learn it. It may be helpful to “pull yourself out of the picture.” Step back and see yourself in a movie. You are now watching the hero (you) struggle with a seemingly insurmountable challenge. What strengths, people, strategies and other resources can our hero call on? You might even want to create some theme music for your road toward victory.
“I never failed once, it just happened to be a 2000 step process.” –Thomas Edison
3. Develop an “attitude of gratitude.” Be thankful for the experience. Believe it is here to help and serve you. Ask yourself:
• What am I doing right?
• What’s great about this?
• What’s funny about this I haven’t noticed yet?
• What can I learn from this?
• How can I grow?
• How can I be a positive impact for others because of this?
• What am I grateful for?
• Who can I count on?
• Who can I ask for help?
• Who has gone through a similar situation? How can I learn from their experience?
4. Apply the lessons. Be willing to grow. Ask for help. I wish I could tell you I wrestled David Forsythe again and whupped him. Or that I became the greatest wrestler ever. The fact is I never even saw him again. What I did do is get help. I got coached. I got stronger. I got better. I was never pinned again and was eventually ranked 3rd in my weight class in the state of Alabama. Wrestling, more than anything else in my youth, instilled in me a sense of confidence, discipline, mental toughness, leadership and perseverance. There is no doubt in my mind I became a better wrestler and a better person because of that loss. To this day whenever I get “pinned” that match reminds me to get up, dust myself off, learn, grow, and get back in the ring.
Now go get out there and fail! It is your pathway to greatness.
Please leave a comment!
Unseen Forces: How to Quit Smoking and Run a Marathon, by Doug Grady
November 17, 2010 by Doug · 4 Comments
Unseen Forces: How to Quit Smoking and Run a Marathon, by Doug Grady
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." –Goethe
The year was 2003. I was living in California building High Achievers Network when I received an email from a fraternity brother. He challenged me, along with the other recipients of the email to fill out the lottery application for the New York City marathon, adding that the NYC marathon is the 2nd most difficult marathon to get into without qualifying. He went on to state that since the chances were so slim that any of us would “win” the lottery, if we did it was meant to be. Well, I tend to believe that sort of thing so I thought what the heck- I sent in my application and pretty much forgot about it.
Fast forward 3 months- High Achievers Network was hosting a Jack Canfield seminar. He was speaking on his book The Power of Focus. This book contains a section on eliminating bad habits. I decided to take on quitting smoking (at the time I was smoking roughly a pack and a half a day). My master plan: start on Sunday at 20 cigarettes per day gradually wean myself down to smoke free within a week. Wednesday of that week I received an email. “Congratulations, you’re in the New York City marathon!” I thought to myself- “Wow, it looks like I picked the right week to quit smoking.”
I had never considered myself much of a runner. I did a couple of 10Ks in my 20s but it had been years since I had run more than 3 miles in one stretch. My track record with smoking was much more consistent and dedicated- an average of a pack a day for the better part of 16 years.
Saturday was to be my last cigarette. I smoked it before 9am. By 9:01 I wanted another one. Instead I went to Sports Authority and bought a $160 pair of running shoes. I vowed to destroy the shoes if I ever smoked another cigarette. Four months later I ran (and completed) the New York City marathon. And yes, I am still a non-smoker.
Without that unexpected email it is quite possible I would have caved in to my old bad habit. When you take on something big in your life be ready, be aware, and look for the “unseen forces” that come to your aid.
The Ripple Effect, by Doug Grady
October 31, 2010 by Doug · 23 Comments
You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
You may find yourself in another part of the world
You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife
You may ask yourself, well how did I get here?
-The Talking Heads, Once in a Lifetime
The Ripple Effect
by Doug Grady
I have always been fascinated with how we become who we are. What creates breakthroughs in our lives? What causes some people to wake up enthused and go to bed fulfilled? How do we create a life we are excited about that also makes a powerful and positive difference for others? Why do so many incredibly talented, gifted, and “fortunate” people end up ruining their lives (insert your favorite Hollywood tragedy here)? How do others defy the odds and live extraordinary, exemplary lives?
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Sales with Doug Grady: Far and Wide (excerpt from Strategy Magazine)
August 3, 2010 by Doug · 4 Comments
The following article was recently published in Strategy Magazine, a National publication.
Today, Doug Grady, speaker, entrepreneur, musician, and President of High Achievers Network, strives to reinvent the miscalculations of unrealistic strategies that simply sit well on published pages. He may actually turn out to be the Father of “The Sales in All,” mentality and we are vouching for his elated methods.
...Grady got up in front of a crowd one day; placed his banjo on his knee and began to sign a parody about entrepreneurship to the tune of Gloria Gaynor's “I will Survive...”
What about Grady's message? Doug Grady offers sincerity. Doug Grady offers the right ticket; without the artificial additives and a pinch of entertainment. He presents the facts, as far as what needs to be done in a sales arena and he caters to all.
"I believe in building the character of the person selling... in order to get across to the client, prospect, or people in general. You can't sell anything unless you know where you are and where you are heading,”
We know Grady is on to something with his music, but more than that, is he bridging the platform between the self-help industry and the world of selling into one conference. His method of delivery is unique and radical, and is offered live, online, via podcasts, and CDs.
Sales KILLERS, by Doug Grady
August 1, 2010 by Doug · Leave a Comment
Sales KILLERS, by Doug Grady
“I killed it! I killed my pretty sale!” –Tommy Boy
Why are you killing sales? Have you ever wondered about the sales you lost- what went wrong? Here are the biggest sales killers.
1. You have been DISMISSED. Many salespeople are dismissed before they even open their mouths. This dismissal is confirmed once they open their mouths. Your prospect is unconsciously asking, “Who are you and why should I care?” You need a specific, relevant answer to this question to avoid being dismissed. The Superior Salesperson separates himself from the masses through creative door openers, personal marketing, strategic alliances, and reality based communication. If you’re dismissed, your sale is dead.
2. Ineffective READs. There are 4 steps all customers go through before they buy anything from anybody. The Superior Salesperson understands these steps, where the customer is in their buying process, and how to communicate effectively through each step. They pay attention to verbal an non-verbal cues and adjust themselves to personality styles. Failure to READ your prospect kills sales.
3. Lack of flexibility. The average salesperson engages in “verbal vomit.” They “show up and throw up.” “Blah, blah, blah…” This may occasionally bore some prospects into submission but will seldom attract the bigger and better clients. Lack of flexibility is a sales killer.
Just one of these 3 sales killers is enough to significantly decrease your closing ratio. Learn how to be more aware and present in your communication. Learn how to separate yourself from your competition. Learn how to adjust your communication given the situation. Learn how to READ your prospect.
see How to READ People- part 1