Open Mic Night, by Doug Grady
January 18, 2012 by Doug · 3 Comments
Open Mic Night
Open Mic Night, by Doug Grady
In The Tough Mudder Goal Setting Formula I suggested:
Do you want to:
• Play the guitar? Sing? Do stand-up comedy? Book an open mic night.
Although I have been performing music in my trainings for over a decade, I had never played an open mic night... until recently.
In 2011 I wrote four original songs, three of which aren't particularly suited for my speaking engagements and seminars. The thought had crossed my mind on more than one occasion that I should practice what I preach.
I was running an errand in Midtown Atlanta when I noticed a flyer on the door of the Red Light Cafe, "Open Mic Night every Wednesday". You gotta be kidding me. I didn't even have to look for it.
Wednesday rolled around and I showed up, banjo in hand with a couple of friends. To my surprise a few more arrived within the hour. The room was a mix of several people I know and 40+ artists, performers, and spectators.
10:55pm: "Next up, Doug Grady!"
I know what you're thinking. I got a standing ovation and booked a multimillion-dollar record deal. Not exactly. The first two songs, Saturday Morning and Is it Time to Let Go were a little off. These songs had never been performed for more than a couple of people and my nerves got the better of me. Of course The (unofficial) Tough Mudder Song had 'em clappin', snappin', hootin' and hollerin'.
My 13.5 minute open mic performance was nerve-racking, uncomfortable, and at times a little off key. It was fun, exciting, and inspired. It was a growth experience unlike any I have had or ever will have while simply practicing.
Put yourself out there. There simply is no substitute for putting your butt on the line.
Please leave a comment- I really want to hear from you.
The Ingredients are Not Enough, by Doug Grady
December 11, 2011 by Doug · 2 Comments
Ingredients: distilled vinegar, red pepper, salt
The Ingredients are Not Enough, by Doug Grady
Tabasco: distilled vinegar, red pepper, salt.
Achievement: inspiration, personal growth, perseverance.
My first experience with Tabasco was in New Orleans as a freshman at Tulane University. A couple of drops and I was hooked. Rarely a meal goes by these days without reaching for that familiar bottle of pepper sauce.
Did you know the ingredients of Tabasco are aged up to three years in white oak barrels before they fulfill their destiny? The barrel gives them an environment to come together, to develop, to mature. It provides a proven structure for the fulfillment of their potential.
The ingredients are not enough.
Even if you have the right potential ingredients for achievement, it is not a given. Inspiration can be fleeting. Personal growth is often painful. Perseverance alone can lead to banging your head against a wall. Put them all together, and you're off to a great start, but it is not enough. High Achievers consciously put themselves in an environment where they can grow, mature, and consistently progress toward realizing their full potential. They learn from others who have been there. They have a support system. They realize it probably won't happen overnight.
The ingredients are not enough.
Check your environment. Does it empower you? What messes do you need to clean up? How's your support system? What simple choices can you make today to nurture your potential for the long term? Who can you count on?
Ingredients: inspiration, personal growth, perseverance
Think of High Achievers as your own personal white oak barrel. Our mission is simple:
To help you embrace a lifestyle of high achievement.
What would happen if you fully embraced a lifestyle of high achievement right now? What would be possible for you in the upcoming months? In a year? In three years?
Bring your inspiration. Be willing to grow. By all means persevere. Join us in embracing a lifestyle of high achievement. Your destiny awaits.
New membership options start at just $9.95/month (start my membership now!)
Do you have a team of 20 or more? Find out how you can book Doug.
Vision Repaired, by Doug Grady
November 2, 2011 by Doug · 3 Comments
Vision Repaired, by Doug Grady
I thought I was just tired. I was reading a book with fine print and found myself pulling it further away to make out the words. My vision was better than 20/20- this must be a mistake. I delayed the inevitable for over 2 1/2 years. Last weekend I faced the facts and bought my first pair of reading glasses.
"It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision." -Helen Keller
What are the factors causing us to resist simple shifts that can significantly improve the quality of our lives? Here are some that have popped up for me:
- Resistance to change/comfort zone. Sometimes I like to hold on to my old, comfortable way of looking at things- even if it doesn't work so well anymore.
- Blind spots. I got so used to reading with obscured vision, I almost didn't notice it.
- Self comparison. Comparing myself to how I used to be can be a recipe for frustration. While it is true that I am continuing to improve in various areas of my life, apparently eyesight is not one of them.
- Denial. I simply did not want to accept my limitations.
- Pride/ego/vanity. Glasses, when I got right down to it, represented weakness in my mind. I didn't want to rely on something outside myself to get results I was used to getting on my own.
I just happened to be with a trusted friend who reminded me how absurd my stubbornness was. Without this gentle prodding, it is likely I would still be vision impaired. As I write these words (glasses on) I am wondering what took me so long.
Where there is no vision, the people perish. -Proverbs 29:18
Tools, resources, and strategies are all around us. They come in the form of books, trainings, people... and glasses. What are you doing today to improve your vision?
The Self-help Section, by Doug Grady
October 24, 2011 by Doug · 12 Comments
The Self-help Section, by Doug Grady
According to Marketdata Enterprises, a Tampa-based research firm, Americans spend more than $11 billion each year on self-improvement products and services. The self-help industry is expected to grow 6.2 percent annually over the next three years.
If the self-help section worked it would be getting smaller, not larger. -Self-help Conundrum
I remember attending a seminar in the mid 90s in which the speaker opened with the above point. I had been in the self-help industry for a few short years at the time. As of this writing it has been over 17 years. I can appreciate both the humor and the truth in the statement. My own internal need for growth has often surfaced in various external remedies and fixes which never quite get there. My search for answers has led to more questions. How much is within us and how much do we need to discover? Is it more important to learn or "unlearn"? When do I push and when do I let go? How can I best help others? What is the difference that makes the difference?
Recently I made a trip to my local bookstore to check out some of the titles. Here are a few highlights...
Self-help book titles:
How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You
The Secret Power of Middle Children
Put Your Big Girl Panties On
This is Why You're fat
The Owner's Manual for the Brain (1005 pages)
The Procrastination Workbook
Change or Die
14000 Things to be Happy About
8789 Words if Wisdom
365 Ways to Boost Your Brain Power
287 Secrets of Reinventing Your Life
The 10 Women You'll be Before You're 35
5 Steps to a Quantum Life
The 4 Hour Work Week
The 30 Second Solution
And finally...
The Only Book on Success You'll Ever Need, Volumes 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 (OK, that one I made up)
Can a book really change your life? Or a seminar? Or hiring a coach? What does it take? What is the difference that makes the difference? What do you think? Please post your thoughts in the self-help section. I mean the comment section.
Getting Unstuck, by Doug Grady
October 9, 2011 by Doug · Leave a Comment
Getting Unstuck, by Doug Grady
“Poker is a fascinating, wonderful, intricate adventure on the high seas of human nature.” -David A. Daniel
I started playing poker in California in 2004. Some friends of mine started a poker league where I played consistently and learned the game. Eventually I played tournaments and cash games on a regular basis, sometimes at fairly high stakes.
Poker is a game of decisions. In a perfect world, good decisions would always lead to winning and bad decisions would always lead to losing. In reality, because of the element of chance in poker, bad decisions can be rewarded and good decisions can cost you. It is not uncommon to see a very good player lose significant amounts of money in the short run.
Here are a couple of poker terms new players tend to learn very quickly:
stuck (adjective): Losing, usually in a particularly frustrating way, or for a lot of money. -playwinningpoker.com
on tilt (adjective): Upset or frustrated to an extent that causes poor decision making during game play. -pokerzone.com
Whether or not you play poker, I am guessing you have been stuck at one time or another. Being stuck can take the form of a financial setback, a sales slump, a relationship that is not working, or a habit you need to let go of. Getting stuck can be the result of bad decisions, bad luck or a combination of the two. Here lies one of the major challenges in poker and in life. Losing, particularly while making good decisions, can lead a person to make bad decisions (go on tilt). This often compounds the problem, increasing losses exponentially. It goes something like this:
decisions (good or bad)--> bad outcome (stuck) --> tilt--> bad decisions--> worse outcome (more stuck)
“I guess if luck weren't involved I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
In poker, as in life…
- Bad decisions are often punished.
- Good decisions are not always rewarded and can lead to significant losses in the short run.
- Bad decisions + bad luck = stuck.
- Good decisions + bad luck = stuck.
- Being stuck can lead to more bad decisions.
Here are some thoughts on getting unstuck and staying off tilt.
"The deadly sin is to mistake bad play for bad luck." -Ian Fleming
1. Accurate analysis of your strategy is the first step to getting unstuck. Evaluate yourself. Are you stuck because of:
- Bad luck?
- Bad decisions/strategy?
- Combination of both?
Seek the counsel of people you respect to help you with your analysis. Consider hiring a coach.
2. Take yourself out of the picture. One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard in poker was to play as if you had the best player you know looking over your shoulder helping you. When it comes to the critical decisions in your business and in your life, this strategy is available to you at any time.
3. When it comes to bad luck, have a short term memory. Focus on the decision, not the outcome.
4. With regard to decisions, think long term. In poker, as in life, if you continue to make good decisions for long enough, you will win.
Please, leave a comment- I really want to hear from you.
Motivational Music, by Doug Grady
September 25, 2011 by Doug · 13 Comments
Coldplay performs "Yellow" live in Atlanta September 24, 2011
Motivational Music, by Doug Grady
For as long as I can remember music has been an important, powerful part of my life. Mom's angelic voice graced the choir every Sunday and Dad sang and played piano and guitar. My brother, sister and I took piano classes starting at age five and participated in the band and the choir. Roughly 10 years ago I began singing and performing music in my speaking engagements. Getting together with friends for a little "pickin and grinnin" is one of my favorite things in life.
"The power of music to integrate and cure. . . is the profoundest nonchemical medication." -Oliver Sacks
I've picked out some of my favorite lyrics from some of my favorite songs. For me, they are motivating even without the music.
Comfort
"Music has charms to soothe a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak." -William Congreve
I've got friends in all the right places. -Manchester Orchestra
Don't ever say you're on your way down when God gave you style and gave you grace. -Cold Play
I will survive. -Gloria Gaynor
Everything will be just fine, everything will be alright. -Jimmy Eat World
Don't let yourself go. Take comfort in your friends. -R.E.M.
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me. -The Who
Just because I'm losing doesn't mean I'm lost. -Cold Play
Advice
"Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy. Music is the electrical soil in which the spirit lives, thinks, and invents." -Ludwig van Beethoven
Sometimes to keep it together you've got to leave it alone. -The Eagles
Be careful of something that's just what you want it to be. -Waylon Jennings
Right now, tell me what are you waiting for. Turn this thing around. -Van Halen
Hold on loosely, but don't let go. If you cling too tightly you're gonna lose control. -REO Speedwagon
Let love rule. -Lenny Kravitz
Let it be. -The Beatles
All you need is love. -The Beatles
Just breathe. -Faith Hill
I got knocked down but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down. -Chubawamba
Be a simple man. -Lynyrd Skynyrd
Inspiration
"Make a joyful noise unto the Lord" -Psalm 100:1
It's a beautiful day. -U2
What a wonderful world. -Louie Armstrong
I got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night. -Black Eyed Peas
I learned more from failure than I learned from success. -Barry Manilow
I'm so excited and I just can't hide it. -The Pointer Sisters
If you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize all you ever wanted, on moment, would you capture it, or just let it slip? -Eminem
I'm One Tough Mudder -Doug Grady
You've got to change the world and use this chance to be heard. Your time is now. -Muse
"Music in the soul can be heard in the universe." -Lao Tzu
Did you ever make a mixed tape as a kid? Do you remember how some of the songs got on there? If your life were a movie, what would be on the soundtrack? The power of music as close as your computer or mp3 player. Consider setting up a playlist titled "Motivational Music." Consciously choose songs that inspire you and move you to your core.
List some of your favorite lyrics in the comments section along with the musical artist. I really want to hear from you.
Another Tough Mudder, by Doug Grady
September 22, 2011 by Doug · 2 Comments
The calm before the mud
Another Tough Mudder, by Doug Grady
“I’ll do it if you do it.”
These were my words to my friend Jason Gray several months ago. My first Tough Mudder was March 12, 2011 in Cedartown, GA. I was confident I would not be running my second one on September 18 in Squaw Valley, CA. I was wrong. 3 weeks after our initial conversation Jason posted on facebook he was doing the Tough Mudder NorCal. I was in.
Preparation for my second Mudder included yoga, nutrition adjustments, strength training, cardio, stretching, and 2 grueling sessions per week with my main man Day Adeogba. Jason's training consisted of the occasional 12 ounce curls. By his own admission he was not in great shape. He had at least 4 close friends try to talk him out of it for fear of his safety. He said there were three different times he almost quit. After 5 hours and 52 minutes, Jason Gray was a Tough Mudder.
I was impressed. I honestly wasn’t sure he would finish. I knew he could, I just wasn’t sure he would. It made me ponder- people are capable of a lot more than they think, or at least more than they are experiencing.
What else are you capable of?
But it bothered me- why didn’t my friend train for the Tough Mudder? I know him pretty well, and I think he is wired much the same as I am. I thought for sure once he registered it would shift his lifestyle almost automatically to prepare. This is the main component of the Tough Mudder Goal Setting formula. And then it hit me:
He never registered. He never really threw his hat in the ring.
Jason didn’t actually sign up for the Tough Mudder until the same day the event took place. Yes, we had talked about it. Yes, we said we were doing it. He probably even had it on his calendar. He even posted it on facebook. But he wasn’t really committed, at least not officially. How would his experience have been different if he had registered earlier? I can only speculate.
Here are some of my favorite JG quotes:
“If I survive this, I am going to get in shape.”
“My legs felt like tree trunks.”
“I thought aliens were coming out of my calves on mile 6.”
“I could feel my heartbeat in my groin.”
“The water was so cold I haven’t seen my testicles since Sunday.”
Looking back, if he could do it all over again, I’m guessing Jason would have prepared more extensively. We may never know. When asked if he would ever do it again his response was “Hell no!” The bottom line, neither one of us would have done it if not for the other person. The end result was an extraordinary day on a beautiful mountain with one of my best friends. I can confidently speak for both us that we are glad we did it.
Find something cool or challenging to do. Find someone cool to do it with. Lead with “I’ll do it if you do it.”
Please, leave a comment- I really want to hear from you.
The Breakthrough, by Doug Grady
September 9, 2011 by Doug · 14 Comments
The Breakthrough, by Doug Grady
break•through (noun)
1. A sudden, dramatic, and important discovery or development.
2. A significant and dramatic overcoming of a perceived obstacle, allowing the completion of a process. –Dictionary.com
And finally it happens. It is unmistakable. You hit a new high, the next level, your stretch goal. You break through.
I have been working out with my personal trainer, Day Adeogba, for over a year now. He has the uncanny ability, through a variety of methods, to radically accelerate my fitness progress. This is one of the major benefits of having a coach or mentor in the important areas of your life. My most recent workout with Day was a breakthrough session. It was undeniable. I was stronger, more energized, and needed less recovery time between sets. I reached a level on two exercises which was significantly higher than any previous measurement. It felt incredible.
“Today is the day.” –Mel Fisher, the world’s greatest treasure hunter
Take a moment right now to distinguish a personal breakthrough. Maybe you overcame a fear, broke a bad habit, mastered a new skill, received a promotion or exceeded a business goal. It can be mental, physical, emotional or otherwise. Any breakthrough will do. Don’t read any further until you have one specific breakthrough in mind.
“If you are ever capable of something, you were always capable of it.” –Doug Grady
How did this breakthrough happen?
• Realize it was in you all along. If you are ever capable of something, you were always capable of it. What else might you be capable of?
• Take the position it was not an accident. You were at cause in the matter. You made it happen.
• List all the elements which contributed to your breakthrough. Visualize the path that brought you here. What challenges did you overcome? What made this moment in time possible? Acknowledge all your hard work, the distinctions you gained along the way, the people who helped you. How did your mental and emotional make up factor in? Recognize and give credit to anything and everything involved in this outcome.
• How does it feel? Listen to the voice in your head. What is it saying? Close your eyes. What do you see? It is critical that you associate to the feelings and sensations you receive when you break through. Notice them. Feel them. Experience them. Appreciate them. Share them with a trusted friend.
• Reward yourself. What gets rewarded gets repeated.
• Keep a Breakthrough journal. Use it to answer the above questions.
Now what?
“The best time to make a sale is right after you made a sale.” –Brian Tracy
The same could be said of a breakthrough. The energy of a breakthrough attracts other breakthroughs. A breakthrough in one area of your life is often the catalyst for significant, unexpected progress in other areas. Get, be, and stay ready. Your next breakthrough is just around the corner.
Please, leave a comment- I really want to hear from you.
How did we get here? Read The Ripple Effect.
Facing Frustration, by Doug Grady
September 1, 2011 by Doug · 2 Comments
Facing Frustration, by Doug Grady
"Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success." -Bo Bennett
Earlier this year I was having a particularly frustrating day wrestling, no- more like obsessing over 2 very uncomfortable circumstances in my life. One was a personal, the other a major challenge with my business. I felt completely overwhelmed and out of control in both areas and found myself dwelling on my problems for the better part of the business day. After 5 or 6 hours of very low productivity and dismal solitude, I began to look at myself. I was clearly being a victim of circumstance. Here’s the funny thing. I made a conscious decision to continue to wallow for the rest of the day. I even started a text to a trusted friend. It read:
“I have decided to be a victim today. I will let what happened to me determine how I feel. If something good happens later, maybe I will feel good; if not, I will not. Feel free to contribute something positive so I can feel better.”
I started laughing as I wrote. It just sounded so absurd. I almost couldn’t believe I wrote it without trying to be funny. The simple act of consciously choosing to continue my pity party and stating it to a trusted friend completely shifted the experience for me. I felt more power, had a better attitude, and created a complete state change. By the way, I didn’t even send the text.
“What you resist persists.” –Carl Jung
Here’s what I think happened:
- I allowed myself some slack. I had already killed most of the day so I figured why not finish it off, but at least I do it consciously.
- I stated my frustration to someone I trust.
- I was able to laugh at myself.
“If we allow our feelings to pass through us, accept them, and release them, we shall know what to do next." -Melody Beattie
The next time you find yourself putting up with, avoiding, or resisting a feeling of frustration, try embracing it for a specified, limited period of time. Reach out to someone who cares about you. And try not to take yourself too seriously.
Has something like this ever happened to you? Please, leave a comment- I really want to hear from you.
How did we get here? Read The Ripple Effect.
Is it Time to Let Go? by Doug Grady
August 20, 2011 by Doug · 10 Comments
"In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it." -Michelangelo
Is it Time to Let Go? by Doug Grady
I have been actively exploring the pathways to personal potential for over 20 years. The majority of the books, teachers, and courses I have learned from seem to focus on what we need to DO to improve ourselves. What strategies, actions, characteristics, or skills do we need to adopt? How can we grow, stretch, go for it, reach, make it happen? What’s missing that we need to add to our lives? The message appears to be that if I simply learn, grow and push hard enough, long enough, and smart enough, I’ll get there. Perhaps that’s just how I tend to see the world- give up nothing, take on everything, more is better, anything is possible. Far less attention seems to be given to letting go of what’s not working. What do we need to unlearn, eliminate, release?
If Michelangelo were chipping away at you, what would he get rid of? The intricate details of The David simply could not be introduced without first eliminating the large excesses which did not work. The same goes for fine tuning the masterpiece of your life. There may be one major thing, the “big block.” You probably know what it is. Your big block prevents you from getting maximum benefit from your personal development efforts, no matter how hard, long, or innovative they may be. It’s like driving with the brake on. Eliminating your big block expands your current potential exponentially and brings new possibilities you may have never imagined.
Do you have a big block? This may include, but is not limited to:
- The past
- Relationships
- Alcohol
- Drugs
- Food
- Sex
- Work
- Gambling
- Pride
- Anger
- Fear/insecurity
- Cynicism
What are you holding on to? Is it time to let go?